So, what goes in to making a playist exactly? For me- there's always a mood to the playlist, a snazy title, and then I pick the 25 songs that best make my chosen mood come to life. Creating a playlist is easy I think.

Recently, my little sister fcked* over the computer and my brother had to completely restart it. Bye Bye all my pictures, Bye Bye all my music =|
I keep trying to find a program that will get all the music on my iPod back onto iTunes. (I mean, I paid for alot of music!) Aside from the paid for music- you want to know what that's a sign of? Never letting go. Which we all know I have issues with sometimes lol.

All the music on my iPod are old favorites. Artist I've never let go- like B5, Rihanna, En Vogue, JoJo. Movie soundtracks I can't get over- High School Musical, Dreamgirls.. And songs that represent moments in life I'd never forget- Can I Have This Dance, Smash Into You... Or my "StarBoy" playlist from my summer of Miles (: ... I am STUCK in the past and moving forward at the same time. How does that work?

My friend Orlando has this playlist he listens to when he's sad over his ex or his bestfriend who he's like madly in love with. And guess what's on that playlist? Songs of longing, songs of sadness, love lost songs. It's like- ARE YOU TRYING TO DEPRESS YOURSELF?!

But this is something we all do. Like instead of listening to Oh Happy Day from Sister Act, or Happy Face by Destiny's Child (see, stuck in the past lol) -- after a breakup we'd rather listen to Have You Ever by Brandy or Love Lost by Trey Songz. So now let's say I took Ola's iPod and completely recreated his playlist. When he got sad about a girl, and he reffered to music that told him it's ok, or even expressed the beauty of life. Would he feel different?

If I let go of all the music of my past, accepted that empty iTunes on my computer.. Started buying new music. Would something change?

Not a drastic change (clearly) but something about the way I think would change. I'm always complaining about new generation music sucking ass and missing the thruth of the 90's. To some extent I still think it rings truth, like 90's music was where it's at. But maybe it's about time we stop neglecting the aspects of the future we don't like. Stop ignoring things of the present. Officially let the past be.

So, I'm going to delete all the music on my iPod... (ok I'm lying. I have to keep some* classics like Piano Man by Brandy and Shes Got It Like That by B5) but dare I say Bye Bye High School Musical Soundtrack? And Hello Usher&Nikki's Little Freak (I'm sure that's the name of it) lol. I'm going to do it >_<

But someone should really take this challenge with meee !


Flying Off,
Saika B.

I am grafitti ..
Art formed in creative passion, expressed through rebellion.

My splatters of color,
My hardcore words-
Like KILL!
My random markings on subway carts,
Street corners,
Buildings and parks...
Some of you are disgusted by me.
You hate me.
Some of you just don't get me.
You clearly think I need some help...
But trust me
I'm fine.

While you waste away your days
In high end art schools,
Paying $300 a class
To be taught to draw a perfect circle;
I've already mastered the beauty
Of erregular shapes in random objects.

You limit yourself to 8 by 11's
And IF* bold -
24 by 36 ..

But the world is my canvas
So I forever leave a mark.

So ha!

I win (:

You ever stumble upon a song by accident?

I don't mean walking down the street and someone is blasting music from thier car and you're like "oh! I like that!" ... No, I mean someone plugging your head phones to the melody that answers all your problems. You weren't even really looking for an answer because you didn't think it existed... Yet there it came. In a simple song.

Ohh N Love by Mateo .

Has to be one of the most beautiful songs I've set my heart on since Catch Me - by Demi Lovato and Smash Into You by Beyonce. When I first heard this song today (thank you Jahpaul) it made me think. The message was clear. You're in love. So I listened to it a second time, and sure enough- I understood why I felt it. Just now, I went online and looked up the lyrics. If you know me - you know I make all my final decisions on songs based on thier lyric.

“ Fairy tales come and take my hand
Turn the page and help me understand
Maybe I'll fall in love again
Find out how the story ends
Her song has me lookin' for traces of my melody
And I slowly hum and sing a simple phrase
A nanana that she can't deny
Caught in some way she can feel my every line
Yes I'm fallin' but can't seem to find the words for her yeah

So Ohh n Love, Ohh n Love, Ohh n Love, Ohh n Love
I want to be the song she loves
And I never thought I'd say this baby

Found a way to whisper in her ear
Everything I wanted her to hear
Said I would catch her every tear
Hold her through the many years
So long I've been lookin' for chances of this harmony
Now I know that she's the lyric and the tune
That explains the meaning of life
There is no music without her to give it to
Yes I'm fallin' but can't seem to find the words for her yeah

Ohh n Love, Ohh n Love, Ohh n Love, Ohh n Love
I want to be the song she loves
And I never thought I'd say this baby
Ohh n Love, Ohh n Love, Ohh n Love, Ohh n Love
I want to be the one she loves
And I'm hopin' that she plays this yeah ”

And I started crying. But not sad tears. I think I'm relieved. I'm ok. Or at least I know I'm going to be...

So what exactly am I rambling about? Well, the Ex. I've been fighting with myself in wanting to let him go. I think when you really want to let someone go - you will. And I just never did. Like I can admit that I wanted to be stuck on him for as long as I can be. Because I love him. Like, I can't even explain it so that anyone can get it. Buy it's like how I say "he kisses me only as music could." like - I LOVE that boy.

However, lately I've been feeling like I should want to let him go and that's what I've been trying to want. Clearly it wasn't working...

Anyways. I don't know, listening to this song told me it's ok to be in love with him and I can still love him while letting him go. It's ok* to let go. It's best for the growth of both of us. I'm not sure if I'm communicating all that I've gotten from this song (chances are I'm not) but I know it's helped me really be a big girl about this relationship.

I want to let go. I want to move on.

"If we're meant to be, we will be." I believe those words for so long now... but now it's tine to apply it.



Flying Off,
Saika B.

PS // I named this blog after Mariah Carey's Fly Like A Bird - another really beautiful song to listen to .