Fact // "Some situations be so wack, all you can do is laugh." -- Saika Bince 

•• Ego Trippin' Part 1

So now, Kenyatta "doesn't care" what I have to say, "Seriously. Goodbye"



Did I ever tell y'all I'm psychic? I think I did. If not- let me start this blog by saying: I'm psychic yo! Seriously, somehow I just always know stuff. Especially when bad things are going to happen. 

- -- - -- || I had a dream ... (this is not a MLK speech lol) 
We were in school, and it was dress rehearsal for the talent show. They had to take our picture or something. I was previously upset - I guess being overwelmed with so much going on. And Kenyatta wanted to take my picture. So he's following me around - trying to take the picture. So finally I'm like "Dude! I don't want to take a damn picture! Ugh!" and you know how I talk with my hands? (Ola calls it being an illustrator) so Francis rolled her eyes and said something about me being a bitch. I'm like- "Glad you can finally speak up and say what's on your mind." and I laughed. So then Yatta goes, "Thats your problem right there. You don't care what no one thnks of you." So with that my attitude is like set off. So I'm like "AND?! That's always been me."
So we get into a heated argument about how I don't care what anyone thinks of me, so I always act like I run shit and lalala. Which I can* understand how that can frustrate some. But my argument (in the dream) was that it has always been that way, so why was it all of a sudden an issue. And if it was ALWAYS an issue- why are you now* bringing it up? As my BestFriends; I felt like some thngs shoulda been brought to the table so we could (hopefully) agree to disagree. 
The dream ended with us storming off in our seperate ways, Francis & Kenyatta starting the I Hate Saika Club.

I came to school the very next day, and told Kenyatta about the dream. This was on Wensday I think. And he asked me what exactly happened in the dream. Of course I go "I don't remember, I just know alll of a sudden-there's this big issue."
He asked me if I thought the dream would come true. I was honest and said yes. I didn't know what the whole thing was with him, but I did understand the Francis thing.

What do you think is the first mistake I made? 
• it was not telling exactly what happened in the dream. With the way everything has happened these past two days- you will see why...

So the issue with me and Francis has spilled over into something friendship threatening. But more on that later.

The shocker of this whole thing is my Yatta mess. Lol. Like I deadass don't know what his issue is. But I think he's Ego Trippin' 

The name of this blog is infact Ego Trippin' because that's what's going on in our friendships, on all our parts. (Well, just me and yatta because Francis is a baby & I guess she'll "grow" when she feels like it) 

But yeah. I think Kenyatta is Ego Trippin. Like on some bull. 
(This is how I explained it to my 2nd mom- Ms.Chloe)
Lately, he's finnallyyy been getting much needed recognition for the hard wor he's been doing for this chorus. I'm completely aware that before (& even still now to some extent) it was about Saika. Like everything in the arts was on some "All hail Saika" crap. And I say crap because eve with all the praising, I get frustrated and tired. Like I do too much.

Kenyatta and I work differently. How we get whatever job done is tottally on us. It just (seems) that sometimes my way is more effective. But that's only due to the fact that Kenyatta is used to working the stage. And I don't mean for you to limit that idea to singing and performing and blah blah. I mean he's charming, goodlooking, and mostly a soft spoken sweetheart. Yatta can be a push over. He's so anxious to get his thoughts and ideas across (good ones too) but working the stage is different from working backstage. 
I hope y'all see where I'm going with this... So it's understandable that I'm (for now) a more effective leader than he. 
Anywho, all this recognition is going to his head I think. And so NOW it's like he has an issue with my leadership. If you ask me what's going on or how it started- I can tell you how it started and now (based on francis's texts last night), I can give you a basic idea of what's going on. What's yatta's REAL issue? I have nooooo idea. & I put that on music . So for now I will say he is straight EGO TRIPPIN

-- wow. I been typing for like 20 minutes lol.

Apparently, I "don't care what people have to say. So you tend to not listen when someone is saying something."
HOLLERING!!!!!
Lmao.
So ofcourse when flaka said this, I'm like "Instead of telling me what I do and don't care about, if you feel so strongly about it- ask me to repeat what you've said to me. Just so you can feel dumb." 
 
After she said that, I remembered how yatta got upset because I seemed to not be listening to him when he "had to talk to me about something"

So yatta, if you're reading this (which I highly doubt) here are the points & things you were saying before you just jumped to conclusions about how I "didn't care" so I "wasn't listening" 

- the way I "went hard" on crystal wasn't right
- as prsident I need to care about what she's feeling instead of "blanking out" and "barking"
- whether I know it or not, I was "blanking out"
- and that made her feel bad
- that was a prime example of what crystal was saying becuase now she feels like she can't approach me
- she just feels like I'm not gona care and just "go hard on her"

-_- but I wasn't listening . I pulled those out my ass right? 

And then when I gave my "uhhuh..." 
You took it as sarcasm, and didn't want to finish becuz it was "pointless ever trying to tlk" to me

-- I deff realized I didn't tell you all what completely happened. But I think this blog was just targeted to a main person. 

So to wrap it up, I think it's straight up wack and on some bullshit that friends can't agree to disagree (like I've done with Francis)
I think whatever your issue is, whether you chose to speak up about or not. You're fucked up for causing it to ruin a friendship we all worked very hard to build. 
And I deff find how you acting or reacting (cuz this could be temporary) super WACK because like I said, friends should agree to disagree sometimes. I was always there for you, even when I couldn't be there for myself. And that's real talk.

But blogging about it has deff made me feel better. 

Am I hurt? Hell yeah.
Have I lost something great? Definitely.
But will I live? Duhhh!

When you're ready to explain what your issue is, I'm tottally available.
If not. 

I apreciated your friendship :)
& now it's time to move on. 




--&ily. x__MG

Labels: Ego trippin