You ever stumble upon a song by accident?

I don't mean walking down the street and someone is blasting music from thier car and you're like "oh! I like that!" ... No, I mean someone plugging your head phones to the melody that answers all your problems. You weren't even really looking for an answer because you didn't think it existed... Yet there it came. In a simple song.

Ohh N Love by Mateo .

Has to be one of the most beautiful songs I've set my heart on since Catch Me - by Demi Lovato and Smash Into You by Beyonce. When I first heard this song today (thank you Jahpaul) it made me think. The message was clear. You're in love. So I listened to it a second time, and sure enough- I understood why I felt it. Just now, I went online and looked up the lyrics. If you know me - you know I make all my final decisions on songs based on thier lyric.

“ Fairy tales come and take my hand
Turn the page and help me understand
Maybe I'll fall in love again
Find out how the story ends
Her song has me lookin' for traces of my melody
And I slowly hum and sing a simple phrase
A nanana that she can't deny
Caught in some way she can feel my every line
Yes I'm fallin' but can't seem to find the words for her yeah

So Ohh n Love, Ohh n Love, Ohh n Love, Ohh n Love
I want to be the song she loves
And I never thought I'd say this baby

Found a way to whisper in her ear
Everything I wanted her to hear
Said I would catch her every tear
Hold her through the many years
So long I've been lookin' for chances of this harmony
Now I know that she's the lyric and the tune
That explains the meaning of life
There is no music without her to give it to
Yes I'm fallin' but can't seem to find the words for her yeah

Ohh n Love, Ohh n Love, Ohh n Love, Ohh n Love
I want to be the song she loves
And I never thought I'd say this baby
Ohh n Love, Ohh n Love, Ohh n Love, Ohh n Love
I want to be the one she loves
And I'm hopin' that she plays this yeah ”

And I started crying. But not sad tears. I think I'm relieved. I'm ok. Or at least I know I'm going to be...

So what exactly am I rambling about? Well, the Ex. I've been fighting with myself in wanting to let him go. I think when you really want to let someone go - you will. And I just never did. Like I can admit that I wanted to be stuck on him for as long as I can be. Because I love him. Like, I can't even explain it so that anyone can get it. Buy it's like how I say "he kisses me only as music could." like - I LOVE that boy.

However, lately I've been feeling like I should want to let him go and that's what I've been trying to want. Clearly it wasn't working...

Anyways. I don't know, listening to this song told me it's ok to be in love with him and I can still love him while letting him go. It's ok* to let go. It's best for the growth of both of us. I'm not sure if I'm communicating all that I've gotten from this song (chances are I'm not) but I know it's helped me really be a big girl about this relationship.

I want to let go. I want to move on.

"If we're meant to be, we will be." I believe those words for so long now... but now it's tine to apply it.



Flying Off,
Saika B.

PS // I named this blog after Mariah Carey's Fly Like A Bird - another really beautiful song to listen to .